The doctor’s called you aside and with an empathetic touch on your left forearm announces “it won’t be long”. Yes, it’s difficult to compute but your dear old friend lady indie is terminally ill.

She had her good times starting out in the 80’s with The Smiths and The Stone Roses, then enjoying a very happy 90’s raising Britpop, continuing into middle age where she unexpectedly gave birth to the Arctic Monkeys, The Strokes and The Libertines.

Since, she’s lived a hard life. It all started with Coldplay divorcing her for Stargate, then came the death of her beloved Oasis, and finally she contracted that most feared of diseases “Razorlight’s third album”, those bloated songs of tabloid fame and cocaine were always going to get her in the end. We thought she might rally with that Libertines reunion, but if anything it made her even worse – you could really see her age as ‘Gunga Din’ limped onto radio stations and streaming lists before disappearing, banished to track 8 on the next Best Of.

Is there anything we can do? You cry as you steady yourself, clutching the green privacy curtain in the hospital. The doctor goes on to explain the experimental methods they tried like new rave, indietronica and grindie didn’t do anything, looking back the ‘Surfing The Void’ artwork just embarrassed an old woman who deserved better. All we can hope for now is that her life inspires others. Ratboy, Catfish & The Bottlemen and Blossoms have all visited and paid their respects, she could but only smile and murmur ‘don’t fuck it up like Kings of Leon’.

The time is almost near to nod in agreement at the nurse topping up the morphine, but before you do, pull on your skinny jeans, get that military jacket out the wardrobe and play ‘Is This It?’ from start to finish with ‘Stalking Pete Doherty’ on mute.

It’s what she would have wanted.

? Strangeways Here We Come // The Ride // Sound of Silver

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